Sometimes....

The majority of the time I'm an optomistic, happy person who loves a good laugh and hardly ever acts her age. But sometimes, just sometimes this couldn't be further from the truth.

Sometimes I sink into a funk, a darkness that wraps itself around me and consumes me. It can last anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days, rarely any longer than that.

During these times I'm filled with self doubt and all the negatives. I'm ugly, stupid, unloveable and I feel so completely alone. My self esteem and confidence take a big hit and I doubt everything I do and everything I am.

No one knows I go through this, not even my partner. I've never been good at talking about my feelings and I must admit to some embarrassement and maybe even a little shame. One day I hope I can open up about it, but not just yet. For now, this post will have to do.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me though, all in all I consider myself lucky. I know people who have these thoughts and feelings every minute of every day. Their lives are a constant battle agaisnt the demons that haunt them.

So, if you're struggling I hope you can find the strength to reach out to someone. And if you think someone you care about is stuggling, be there for them. If they know that you're there, it will make all the difference.

Turning 40

So I’m turning 40 this year. 

As I like to be prepared, I think I’ll start planning now for my midlife crisis….

Difference of opinions

Just because you disagree with someone's opinion, it doesn't mean you should engage in a personal attack on them.

Put forward your view and reasoning for why you think they're wrong and discuss.

Be respectful and open to debate because you never know, you might learn something new.

What I Am

I know what I am and what I am not - now I just have to accept it and learn to love myself regardless….

You are all amazing….

If you’ve ever been bullied or picked on for your differences, whether it be because those people thought you were too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too smart or not smart enough. Maybe it was because of the colour of your skin, your religious beliefs or your sexual orientation. Well, I want you to remember the irrefutable fact that you are an individual and you are amazing.

More often than not, these so called “people” are afraid or jealous of what sets you apart. Maybe they are intimidated by how smart or creative you are. Maybe they are jealous of your home life, the fact that your parents pay attention to you, nurture you. Whatever it is, it is their issue. In most cases, it has nothing to do with you, it is them projecting their own issues onto you in a negative way.

So if you are feeling alone, disheartened and you don’t think you can go on, just remember that you are you and you were made just the way you were supposed to be. Your differences are what sets you apart from everyone else and they are what make you special. You are NOT defective, you are NOT alone, you are NOT worthless, you are a valued member of this world and no matter what, even though sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, there is always someone looking out for you – we are all looking out for you.

So, if you need someone to talk to, to vent to, someone’s shoulder to cry on, don’t feel embarrassed or that you aren’t worth it. Just hold out your hand and someone will take it and hold on tight.