Just Saying....

If you shit on other people's hopes and dreams it just means you're a shitty person....

Sunday: the Plan v The Reality

Sunday

The Plan:
Wake up early.
Go shopping and buy some cleaning supplies.
Have a cleaning marathon to clean the house.
Start sorting through my stuff and dividing it into - Keep/Sell/Donate/Throw Away.
Do my tax.


The Reality:
Wake up at 10am.
Laze around in bed until midday.
Go shopping and buy some cleaning supplies.
Make lunch.
Go on the internet.

Well at least I brought the cleaning supplies....

Just Saying....

It doesn't matter how long or short your journey is going to be, it all begins with the first step....

Family and Friends

My mum had this habit of telling the same story 100 times, especially as she got older.

Now that she is no longer with us, I would give anything to hear each of those stories that 101st time.

Appreciate the people in your life that you care about because they won't be with you forever and when they're gone they will take a piece of you with them that you can never get back.

Lessons Learnt

Nothing can break your heart and your spirit like feeling unwanted, make you feel more alone than thinking you are unloved.

Don't let the people you care about forget how important they are.

Lessons learnt....

This week has taught me some lessons, the kind that only life can teach you.

I don't always have to be strong, the tough one who stays together.

It's not a sign of weakness to embrace my vulnerability, to allow myself to grieve, to show my pain.

Tears aren't something to be ashamed of, they show our joy, our sadness and the depth of our love.

Yes, this week has taught me a lot of lessons about myself and who I thought I was.

Mental illness

Mental illness is something that needs to be talked about more. There still seems to be huge stigma attached to it and I think with information comes understanding and acceptance.

The more we know, the more we can remove the mystery and see that in the majority of cases, sufferers are just people who, while needing a little extra support, just want to be treated like everyone else.

The toll on the family and friends of someone suffering from a mental illness can be huge. By engaging in conversation, we can also help lift the burden on these people.

I think by opening up and sharing our stories, we can change perceptions and help remove the prejudices that exist.

Other peoples opinion

For too long I've let other peoples negative opinion of me influence my own self image.

I've slowly realised, fuck that shit, I'm awesome....

Sometimes....

The majority of the time I'm an optomistic, happy person who loves a good laugh and hardly ever acts her age. But sometimes, just sometimes this couldn't be further from the truth.

Sometimes I sink into a funk, a darkness that wraps itself around me and consumes me. It can last anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days, rarely any longer than that.

During these times I'm filled with self doubt and all the negatives. I'm ugly, stupid, unloveable and I feel so completely alone. My self esteem and confidence take a big hit and I doubt everything I do and everything I am.

No one knows I go through this, not even my partner. I've never been good at talking about my feelings and I must admit to some embarrassement and maybe even a little shame. One day I hope I can open up about it, but not just yet. For now, this post will have to do.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me though, all in all I consider myself lucky. I know people who have these thoughts and feelings every minute of every day. Their lives are a constant battle agaisnt the demons that haunt them.

So, if you're struggling I hope you can find the strength to reach out to someone. And if you think someone you care about is stuggling, be there for them. If they know that you're there, it will make all the difference.

Turning 40

So I’m turning 40 this year. 

As I like to be prepared, I think I’ll start planning now for my midlife crisis….